And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
