I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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