my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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