I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
