ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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