Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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