I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
did you just send me my own nude
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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