I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
