I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
