I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
