I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
