I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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