I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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