College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
