It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
