Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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