Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
