I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize