It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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