i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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