yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
