Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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