My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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