I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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