I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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