dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You are the jesus of drinking
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
