Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
