Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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