i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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