how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
