i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
