Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
