32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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