wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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