tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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