I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
