i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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