if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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