What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
