Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
