on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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