fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
