tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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