Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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