You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize