Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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