there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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