i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
