I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Send help, water and tortillas.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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