OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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