you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
