Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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