'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
