This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize