Christians are straight up FREAKS
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
