Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
you made out with another girl for some wings
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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