How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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