to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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