are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We're too hungover to prance.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize