haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
