woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
FUCK WHALES
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
