I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize