I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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